I yelled at the driver to go faster. We were five
minutes from the airport, but it seemed like hours away. Eun Sun was
unconscious, her breathing was shallow, her face and body bruised and bloodied.
Besides this the problem now was she was bleeding heavily, she was loosing our
baby. This was my fault, my mother had gone to far this time, and I will never
forgive her. I could not keep my promise to Eun Sun to protect her and she may
never forgive me, may even leave me. Her face showed her pain, and there was
nothing I could do. Damnit.
The car came to a screeching halt on the tarmac in
front of the plane. The driver rushed to open the door for me as I lifted Eun
Sun out. The sheet she was wrapped in was covered in her blood, and she still
hadn’t opened her eyes, her body was limp. Dr. Kim and his assistant greeted us
as I entered the plane with Eun Sun in my arms. He escorted us to the back room
where he had prepared to treat Eun Sun.
“Young Min where is the blood coming from?”
“Doc she’s pregnant, she was kicked in the stomach!
Please you have to save them.”
I dropped to my knees, and grabbed on to his pants
leg, crying, begging him to save her and the baby. He helped me to my feet and
pushed me out of the room and closed the door. I slid to the floor against the
wall closed my eyes and prayed to god that I would do anything as long as Eun
Sun and the baby were okay.
Earlier that day we had gone shopping to decorate the
nursery. I had promised her that when she got to be five months along that we
would start the baby’s room. Eun Sun was so excited as we picked out the furniture
and clothes, and strollers. She had picked out pink and blue stripped wallpaper
and white carpet. As we ate lunch at Delores’ she said that she wanted to name
the baby after my grandfather if we had a boy and after her mother if we had a
girl. I had asked her if she wanted to wait to get married, we could do it
after the baby was born so that she could fit into a beautiful wedding gown,
but she insisted that fitting into a wedding gown wasn’t important to her, and
that she wanted to get married while she was pregnant and have a gown fitted to
suit her growing belly. What mattered to me was that she was happy. All I
wanted was to have her by my side as my wife, so we set the date to get married
on the beach in front of our home the following month and honeymoon in Miami
for two weeks.
Thirty minutes had gone by and I was starting to get
impatient. It took all I had not to rush through the door. I paced back and
forth, praying. I stood at the threshold of the planes entrance and watched as
my fathers car pulled up. His driver opened the door for him, then popped the
trunk and retrieved suitcases. They belonged to Eun Sun and I. Father boarded
the plan. Stood before me, but I backed away from him, not sure what to expect
after the encounter with my mother. Instead he placed his hands on my
shoulders,
“How is she?”
I lowered my head in shame and embarrassment in front
I my father.
“I don’t know.”
He nodded his head, but did not remove his hands. I
didn’t know my father for being affectionate. Not to say that he didn’t love
me, he had his own ways of showing that he cared or that he was proud of me.
Our relationship was good and he always supported what ever decision I made,
scolded me when needed, and encouraged me when needed, but never has he looked
down on me for anything.
Thirty more minutes passed and finally Dr. Kim came to
the front cabin. I tried to read his face as he approached father and I and
bowed. He took a deep breath before speaking, his hands clasped in front of him
he says,
“I’m sorry Young Min, the baby didn’t make it. Eun Sun
is stable, but she has not regained consciousness, her body is weak and she
needs time to heal and plenty of rest.”
I grabbed him by his collar, and told him he was
lying, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, my anger was hot, I didn’t
want to believe that my child was dead.
“You’re lying, you’re lying!”
My father pulled me away from the doctor, I struggled
to get loose so I could finish choking him, but my father wasn’t letting go. He
held me there as I cried out loud. I cried for my child, I cried for Eun Sun. I
cried because I was angry. I cried so loud the pilots came from the cockpit to
see what was going there as well as the two flight attendants. I could feel my
heart tearing up in side my chest. Soon father was crying silently, for the
life of his first grandchild taken away because of his wife.
Doc- “Sir,
I think its best that we wait till the morning to take off. I want to monitor
Mrs. Choi a little longer.”
Father gave him the go ahead, and sent the pilots and
the flight attendants to the hotels for the night. My tears would not stop. In
my mind, I kept going back to earlier in the day seeing Eun Suns hair blowing
in the wind as we walked down the boulevard, her eyes sparkling in the sun as
she smiled because her heart was in love and loves. I knew I would never see
that smile again. She will never forgive me and I will never forgive my mother
and it will be even harder to forgive myself for not being able to protect Eun
Sun. Father had his guards escort me to the hotel to clean up and rest a bit. I
had no appetite, after a shower, a glass of cognac soothed my headache my not
my heart, I stood looking out the window at the plane still parked on the
tarmac, wondering if Eun Sun had woken up yet. I keep seeing her smile and
eyes, her hands running through my hair, the scent of her perfume on my shirt
in the mornings. But then my memory took me back to the house in our room; I
can hear her cries, the fear in her eyes. Oh god I couldn’t protect her. I
couldn’t protect our baby. My phone rings.
“Hello.”
“Are you ready to do as I ask you?”
“You have the nerves to call me. Are you even my
mother?
I will never forgive. I don’t ever want to see you
again. Your best bet is to not return home, because I’m truly tempted to kill
you.”
“Kim Young Min, how dare you talk to me that I way,
and for some trash that couldn’t keep her legs closed? I’m your mother!”
“I don’t have a mother, never call me again.”
Another glass of cognac eased me into a fitful sleep.
My dreams were full of Eun Sun hating me and cursing me; crying for our baby. I
woke in sweat breathing heavy, there were loud knocks at my door. I opened the
door to find my father. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. Handing me a
cup of coffee he says,
“You didn’t sleep well either?”
“No.”
“She still hasn’t woken up. Doc says its due to stress
and shock. I am sorry Young Min. I should have never sent your mother to find
you. I never thought she would do something like this.”
“She called last night. It’s better that she stays
away from me and Eun Sun; no mother should do what she has done to their own
child and call that love. She took something from me more precious than my own
life and for that I can never have her in my life again. At first I thought she
was like that because she worried about Jae Hwa and me; control has always been
her mission. Father how can I tell Eun Sun that my mother is responsible for
the death of our child.”
“Young Min, don’t worry about it, we will handle it
together when the time comes. As far as your mother is concerned, I will deal
with her. I’ve already called lawyer Chang to start the divorce papers. I can
no longer live with her. Enough for now, we take off in forty-five minutes. Get
yourself together and get to the plane.”
I bowed to him as he left.
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