Seoul,
South Korea
Mmmmm....I can feel the warm sun on my skin and I can
smell the scent of lavender and mint in the air. There are voices, not
American, it’s Korean. I have to open my eyes so I can see where I am, but it
hurt so much to open them, in a raspy voice I call out for Young Min, there was
no answer, the voices I hear are not in the same room but just outside the
door. My eyes open, only to have blurry vision; I couldn’t make out shapes, it
was just bright life. It hurt to talk, it hurt to move and it hurt to see. What
the hell was going on? My body was in pain, even so I tried to roll myself and
feel for the table only to knock a glass to the floor, which frightened me and
caused me to flinch in fear. Footsteps, I can hear footsteps running towards
the room, they are coming fast; but why do I feel scared all of the sudden over
footstep. I try to slide to the far side of the bed, shaking, not worrying
about the pain I feel, just the need to escape.
They stop, briefly and I hear my name called, “Eun Sun”
I don’t recognize the voice it’s a woman’s voice. My breathing is erratic, I’m
starting to hyperventilate; the woman’s steps are getting closer and the closer
she gets the more fearful I am. She tells the person with her,
“Go get Young Min and father now!”
The person with her hurries off, but she remains. God
I’m scared to death. She slowly gets closer.
“Eun Sun, it’s okay, you’re safe. You don’t have to be
scared.”
She reaches for my hand, but I flinch back shaking my
head. She is still trying to coax me to be calm and that I’m safe. I don’t feel
safe, I can barely see or move, words hurts, and I don’t know where I am. The
woman make her way up the bed beside me, she’s close enough for me to smell her
perfume. My head turns to the sound of her voice. She touches my left shoulder,
and I try to get away,
“No any no0 Please no!” I’m frantic now and crying
trying to escape, but she continues to hold me, sooth me. “I’ll leave, I
promise I’ll leave.”
The woman holds me gently her around wrapped around my
shoulders, holding my hands tightly.
“You’re safe, you don’t have to leave, and you don’t
have to go any where.”
“No…No… she said…said, I can’t stay…oh god please let
me go… Young Min…Young Min!!”
More footsteps are coming, rushed, panicky steps, and
heavy breathing, my name being repeated, “Eun Sun…Eun Sun!”
It was Young Min, he was running to me, I was trying
to feel for him, crying out, and then finally I felt his hands. There was a
pause. The lady sitting beside released my arms, but didn’t move. She watched
us as well as the other two people that had entered the room.
‘Corb…Corbin…!”
He pulled me into his arms held me tightly, but then I
wanted to push away, so I could feel his face, for some reason I felt as if it
had been a long time since we had seen each other, and I still felt panicky,
nervous. He kissed my face, held my face in his hands, held more.
“Corbin, it hurts, I can’t see, it’s to bright.”
The woman beside me moved away and I could hear the
curtains being drawn closed, and the sun was no longer warming my skin. With
shaky hands I touched his face, he had been crying to.
“Eun Sun, the doctor is going to put eyes drops in to
clear your vision okay.”
I grabbed his hand.
“I’m not going any where.”
A man I assumed to be the doctor sat beside me on the
bed he says,
“I’m Dr. Kim, I need you to please lay back so I can
put the drops in your eyes, they should clear immediately, don’t be scared or
nervous okay. It won’t hurt.”
I did as he asked me to, I couldn’t help to be
nervous. Gently he parted my eyelids and a cool liquid fell into my eyes, three
drops for each side. I blinked a few times and slowly I could make out shapes
and faces, colors and patterns in the room.
“Is that better?”
How much can you see?”
“Every thing.”
I was calming down. Corbin wiped my face with a warm
damp rag. As I looked around I realized that I didn’t know the three people in
the room. The woman looked to be younger than Corbin, may be in her early
twenties, which would put her 6 years behind me. Then there was the doctor, he
looked to be trustworthy enough, and the older gentleman who looked youthful
but gentle had the look of worry on his face. Could this man be Corbin’s
father?
He helped me into a sitting position on the bed with
pillows propped behind for support; he didn’t leave my side. In all my panic I
forgotten that I needed to remain clam for the babies sake, I touched my
stomach and noticed that the bulge that was there was no longer there, I looked
to Corbin with worry, as to say what happened. His eyes filled with tears and
his head went down. The older man says,
“Young Min you to tell her now.”
‘I can’t father.”
“Tell me what, what can’t you tell me.”
I lifted his head to look in his eyes.
“What happened? Please tell me. What happened to our
baby?”
Never once taking his eyes off me, he asked his
father, the doctor and the woman to please leave the room.
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